Wednesday, September 25, 2013

My Ultimate Goal...

I recently asked someone , What do you want for your future?  What will get to the goal of 'Happy'?  For me, it's family.  Thats all I want.  Yes
dreams of money, fame, big houses, acclaim are cool an all but all i've ever wanted was the love of a husband, the love of children and the happiness that comes with having a family of your own.  That is the future I see, the future that I want but it's also the future that I no longer feel like I will have,  After my Taylor died, all of that was shattered in my mind.  My soon to be husband is dead and the rest of my dream died with him.  Slowly i'm getting better. im receptive of meeting and talking to people.  I am even open to date but the idea of trying to get into a relationship is unsettling to me.  I dont want to feel the hurt and pain of loss again I really don't.  The hurt I felt took me to a very dark place and I have no plans to ever feel that way again.  I know that I want to be happy, I know that I would like a companion but for me to ever get back on the track of building the future that I wanted, will take either divine intervention or someone that literally knocks me off of my feet  movie style!