Friday, August 2, 2013

10 Questions You Shouldn't Ever Ask A Gay Guy (Response)

So Michael Blackmon; a BuzzFeed Community Contributor made a post called  10 Questions You Shouldn't Ever Ask A Gay Guy using animated Gifs of reactions to said questions accompanied by a quick response.  I would like to expound on these questions with my own personal reasons/thought processes.  So let's begin with question 1 shall we...

#1 "So, which one of you is the girl in the relationship?"

My Response:  There are no women in a  gay male relationship.  We were both born male and neither of us thinks otherwise.  Straight people have a hard time accepting the fact that Homosexuals do not have to  fit into their gender roles.  Two men in a relationship will act as two men in a relationship, the same as two women in a relationship.  Granted each couple has the POWER and RIGHT to  establish and define their relationship roles  however they want to but you (straight) people need to get it in your minds that for the GENERAL gay male community  each male is male in mind, body and soul... period.

#2  "Don't you know the bible condemns your lifestyle?"

My Response:  Ok I HATE speaking about religion but lets get some things correct.  Gays have been around forever, we've seen in the Romans and the Greeks and lets not for the all of the Pedophiles that disguise themselves as God Fearing Priests.  Jesus preached of love plain and simple.  Why is it that these "religious" people bring up the bible to justify, vilify, and judge homosexuals.  Isn't in the the bible that in the end the only judge there is is God as you try to enter in the gates of heaven.  Why are you taken aback and distraught about how God made me? Oh yeah its because you aren't secure in your own being.

Side-note:  Lifestyle.  I have an issue when Straight and Gay people alike deem being Gay a LifeStyle.  A Lifestyle is something you choose.  If being gay is a lifestyle being straight should be a lifestyle as well.  Being a Basketball player, football player, hipster, model etc . all of those things are lifestyles... Being who you are is never a Lifestyle... its called Life.

#3 "Have you ever tried dating a girl?"

My Response:  Not that its any of your business but I have dated girls before.  I've also had sex with girls before.  Don't get it twisted I love women they are beautiful, strong and powerful beings but in my heart of heart a woman can't satisfy my need for love, passion, and happiness.  The ultimate goal in life is to be HAPPY.  Sexually i'm attracted to women it doesn't mean that i want to sleep with them.  To simplify things, mentally a woman can not intrigue, caress, stroke, and blow my mind the way that a connection with a man can.  I feel like a lot of women think that gay men hate/dislike women which isn't true at all we love and adore all of the sane ones. 

#4 "Do you want to be a woman?"

My Response:  I am a MAN.  No disrespect to my gay brothers that are on/have been on the Transgendered journey but the majority of gay men are secure in the FACT that we are MEN and we LOVE being MEN.  Why is it that you feel because I'm Gay that I want to be a woman.  Once again STOP trying to FORCE your GENDER ROLES on US.

#5 "When did you choose to be gay?"

My Respone:  Ok my initial response to this would be to hit the person.  I would literally want to hit them.  I'm not sorry about saying that because that is an utterly ridiculous question.  When did you choose to be straight?  What leads you to believe that I chose to be  bashed, ridiculed, hated by friends, family and society as a whole?  Where is your logic?  Oh yeah, I didn't choose to be gay, God chose for me.

#6 "You're really cute for a gay guy, ya know?"

My Response:  First of all I am SEXY not CUTE.  Now that we cleared that up what are you implying?  I'm gay because i'm "cute" or that i'm so "cute" that I must be gay.  These are backhanded compliments left and right.

Side-note:  This question annoys me for the simple fact that I'm a black male.  Within the black community there's a spectrum form very light skin to very dark skin.  People from my moderate brown skin to the dark side of the spectrum have heard comments like "You are pretty/cute for a dark skin girl/boy".  Ya'll don't understand how hurtful it is for someone to have the gall to say that you.  So my skin color determines my beauty?  My skin determines the person I am? Its hurtful and hateful to say that to someone.

#7 "Aren't you afraid you're going to get HIV?"

My Response:  I really don't want to get into this but.  From the moment the disease became prevalent in the late 80s early 90s it has been seen as a Gay disease.  HIV DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE.  Men, women, children, straight or gay can become infected by the disease in various ways.  Have I ever been scared of contracting the disease?  Hell no.  I've dated plenty of people who have HIV.  What is there to fear?  It's called taking the proper sexual precautions.  If I told you that I'm HIV POSITIVE nothing about me physically will give you any signs of such.  So why ask if i'm afraid of getting it?  Whether I am negative or positive how does that affect your life?  Don't single gay men out about HIV men in general are promiscuous beings lets stop the societal stereotype of Gays just PARTYING  doing DRUGS and having random UNPROTECTED SEX.

#8 "Like, I have no problem with your gayness, but why are you so effeminate?" 

My Response:  First of all not all gay men are effeminate.act feminine.  Mainstream media only portrays gays in the light of the "FLAMING QUEENS".  The reality is that a lot of us you could never outwardly know we are gay because of the way we carry ourselves.  There's nothing WRONG with a guy that has slight FEMININE mannerisms.  Just like its perfectly ok for FEMALES to be TOMBOYS and no one gives two shits about it.   Here's a follow up question for you.  Why aren't you as feminine as you should be?  How does that make you feel?

#9 "Do you think that this is just a phase?"

My Response:  Ok.  Everyone is entitled to experiment and find themselves but lets be real.  If you try something once you most like won't willingly try it again.  Is being gay a phase?  For most people it isn't.  Its more about accepting yourself for who you are and FUCK society for saying that you're being UNNATURAL.  Those who struggle with accepting themselves, wanting acceptance from family and society; those are the people that teeter on the line of "am I really gay or is this a phase/ something I need to get out of my system".  The amount of females that tried to TURN ME STRAIGHT, I don't understand the appeal but  no its not a phase its never been a phase, for me.

#10 "Aren't all gays supposed to have a great sense of fashion?"

My Response:  Mainstream MEDIA does it again.  This isn't true.  I have seen many a BUSTED looking drag queen and PLENTY of horribly dressed gays young and old.  FASHION is a statement though.  What is acceptable/fashionable in MAINSTREAM terms of FASHION DOESN'T REFLECT THE STYLES AND INFLUENCES of every gay or straight alike.  So no not all gays have a great sense of fashion, not all have an interest in fashion or interior design.  A simple pair of shorts and white tee shirt can be sexier than anything that comes down a runway.